Topics Include: Thinking about divorce. Working on self.

Ask the Author: Question and Response
 

I have wanted a divorce for many years. I filed last year and my wife said she didn't want to, she wanted me, and me only. I did not go through with it. I resolved to make a decision by January '06. However, as I read your book and started to think of love and forgiveness, I was torn on whether to leave or not. My wife’s sister married in December and it seemed to renew my wife’s effort to treat me with respect. At the same time, I met a woman who has captivated me... I thought I didn't want any complications. Is staying and trying again for the highest good?

- Anonymous, Oklahoma, USA

God’s will and your highest will are one. There is no difference. God’s will for your life is your highest will for your life. God’s will manifests itself when you're experiencing peace of mind, joy, love and self love. Make peace of mind and joy your goal, and then allow your external environment to reshape itself to support this effort. This is your highest good, allowing the expression of God to flow through you and into the world. The wisdom, peace of mind, respect and joy you seek is already within you.
 
The ego would try and convince you that you need person A instead of person B to find peace of mind, respect and joy. After the affect of person B passes, the ego will try to convince you that person C might be better suited for you than person B. So on and on its game goes, always promising an external solution to your internal dreams and desires. My friend, as much as the ego has promised you that the treasure map is real, it is not an external treasure you are searching for. It is not respect from another that you are searching for, it is your own self-respect that you are asking to stand, awaken and be counted. What you are doing is trying to remind yourself that you are worthy enough to be treated respectfully.
 
I am not here to tell you or discuss that person A, B or C is better for you. For that is the drama, the complication the ego would like to get you involved with. No, put aside the ego’s insane rituals for a moment, and try to get and remember what your heart and soul are trying to awaken within you. God thought, and from that thought you were created. You are the physical manifestation of God’s thought on this planet. You are worthy of respect. When you truly get this, you will not be supportive of a disrespectful relationship, of being disrespected in any way, or of being disrespectful to any brother or sister on this planet.
 
My friend, your external environment supports the belief that you hold about yourself. Currently you hold the belief that there are times when people can be disrespectful to you, and thus you are experiencing the physical manifestation of your belief. If you continue to support this belief, persons A, B and C will simply turn out to be different physical manifestations of this same belief, basically the same type of individual in three different bodies. That is one reason why I mention that right now it does not matter if you choose person A, B or C, for they will all sooner or later disrespect you because you are allowing such an energy into your life. Once you remember who you truly are, you will no longer allow this into your life, and you will begin to attract people who are respectful into your life.
 
Thus, right now, it does not matter if you stay and try or leave because you will still be taking the belief that you are not worthy of respect with you. This is why in the book you are asked to work on yourself first. Understand that everyone and everything you have in your life is a blessing. In this case, you may say that your wife is awakening within you the knowledge that you are worthy of being respected, and if she can awaken this within you, would you not be grateful for that lesson and for her participation in the lesson plan?
 
The ego would have you call your wife’s behavior disrespectful, then it would have you judge her for it. So you would judge and judge until you get so tired of judging that you would look for another way. The ego understands that your tolerance for pain and disrespect is high but it is not without limit. So, as a final effort, the ego would have you forgive your wife. “You’re the bigger person,” the ego says, “go ahead, forgive her.” Forgiveness is a tool that is needed in the world of illusion. For in such a world, forgiveness is a very useful tool in obtaining peace. But if you truly got that everything and everyone that God offers you is a gift, what you would get is that what your wife was really unconsciously doing was awakening the memory within you that you are worthy of experiencing a respectful relationship and life. Would you need to forgive her for that? Or would you thank her for her participation?
 
My brother, stop playing the victim. Stop blaming others for how they treat you. For knowingly or not, you continually, on a daily basis, teach people how to treat you. Take responsibility for your life, for how people treat you. My friend, you have a lot more control over your life and over the way people treat you than your ego currently allows you to believe. The ego wants you to feel weak, to feel like a victim. It wants you to believe that the power lies outside of you. My friend, you hold the power. You teach people how to treat you. You can choose between judgment and forgiveness. You can choose what you will experience, and what energies you deal with in your daily life.
 
My friend, it is not some external person or thing that you are seeking, but an internal desire within your heart and soul that is asking to be acknowledged, respected, expressed and extended into the world. Do not place your focus on person A, B or C. Instead, go deeper and focus on your own development. Make peace of mind, joy, being respectful and being respected the goal in your daily activities and relationships. If you do this, your external environment and the people in it will begin to more closely fit and support your desires and dreams.
 

View larger images of front & back cover 
of the great spiritual / self development book You Have Chosen to Remember: A Journey from Perception to Knowledge, Peace of Mind and Joy by James Blanchard Cisneros.