Topic:   Family Rift with In-laws Forgiving and Letting Go of Anger and Judgment

Ask the Author: Question and Response

The following was added on one of our online forums in response to a Question and Response about a family rift involving a daughter in-law.


I have been the one who has held onto a hurtful conversation and now I have refused to forgive my mother-in-law.

- Kathy, Texas
 

	See Inspiring Video: Forgiveness

There is a place within us all where summer’s light illuminates every thought, where the cool breezes of autumn envelope every hope, where the serenity of winter silences all of our sorrows, and where the hope of spring allows us to begin anew. This is God’s gift to all of us. This is God’s gift and promise to those in pain and to those who carry burdens, to those who lay in judgment and to those who have anchored themselves to anger.

There is never a moment where God is not. There is never a moment where God looks the other way when his children silently choose to suffer. Every moment is God’s gift to you. Every moment allows you to begin anew. In this time of Christmas, when over 2,000 years ago a messenger of hope was born, find that which lies dormant within you and awaken it to what you honestly and truly desire for your family.

Each and every time a thought of judgment comes to you in regards to your sister (mother-in-law), do as follows:

1. Stop yourself, for where has that thought system ever taken you? It has only weighed you down with worry, surrounded you in sadness, held you prisoner to pain, and ravaged you with regret.

2. Instead, each and every time these thoughts pop up, give them over to the only One who truly knows what to do with them. For the thoughts that so burden you, that so weigh you down, are but a tiny match that will dissolve in His ocean of love, in His ocean of light and understanding.

3. Replace the thoughts that you have given over to God with a prayer for your sister’s health and well being, for her joy and happiness. Yes, do this each and every time and feel what you ask for her - flowing through you.

4. Then offer gratitude to God for allowing His expressions to once again flow through that desert of anger and judgment you once called home. Now those same exact moments, thanks to His light are seen with compassion, forgiveness, love and understanding.

5. Yes, I understand this may at first be uncomfortable and perceived as difficult to do, but isn’t what you are doing now, how you are thinking and reacting now, not ten times the burden? Is the weight you now carry not becoming unbearable? Would you not at least consider another way? A way that offers peace instead of pain, that offers joy instead of judgment, and hope instead of hopelessness.

6. Do this each and every time: Do not judge yourself if you once again find yourself in judgment of your sister - but do catch yourself doing this as quickly as you can. Try and catch your negative thought patterns quicker every time, stop them, offer them to God. He will carry them for you. He will dissolve them in His light, and then pray for your sister. The more you do this, the less time you will spend in judgment and pain.

7. Continue to pray for your sister, to pray for every individual involved in this confusion. Pray for everyone’s health and happiness, for everyone’s joy and peace of mind. Do this especially for those who are not doing this for themselves.

8. Continue to bring God into your every thought. Any time you succumb to sorrow invite Him in, and once again completely join with Him. When in that state of confusion, when anger and judgment try to pollute your mind, stop, and invite Him to decide for you. Invite Him to speak for you. Invite Him to see your sister through His eyes. Invite Him to hold your sister with His arms.

9. Grow with God, and as you do you will provide shelter to all those confused by the storm. Become an example to all who hear you, to all who see your actions, to all who are within reach. Become an example that hope is born again in you. That trust has been born again in you. That gratitude, compassion, forgiveness and unconditional love flow once again through you. Quench the thirst of all those that cross your path.
   10. You have my promise, for I have been called to witness, that if you do what has been asked of you there will come a day when you will look into your sister’s eyes and once again see yourself reflected in them. And when this day comes, that same being you once judged, you will embrace with such overwhelming gratitude and love that angels with literally begin to sing in Heaven in honor of this glory!

I promise you that your family will be in my prayers, and when our bodies sleep I promise that all our souls will join together in a cathedral of endless light. We will all stand in a perfect circle and hold hands, and begin to pray and sing, choirs of angels will surround us, join us, tears of joy will flow, and all will be forgiven. And when we return, we will do so with our heads held high in knowledge that now we will be able to light the way for those many others who will one day cross this same path, for this path will now be forever lit in forgiveness, gratitude, understanding and love.
 

Note:  To read more about forgiveness, you may want to read Chapter Seven Overview: Freedom Through Forgiveness.

   

View larger images of front & back cover 
of the great spiritual / self development book You Have Chosen to Remember: A Journey from Perception to Knowledge, Peace of Mind and Joy by James Blanchard Cisneros.