Topics Include: Forgiving relative. General forgiveness strategies. Transforming anger to peace.

Ask the Author: Question and Response

I am still bitter and angry over an argument that happened in 2003 between me and my adult nephew who drove me out of his mother's house. I even cursed him for rendering me homeless and depressed. But with God's grace I found a crisis centre shelter where I lived for a few months. While I was there, found a job and eventually made enough money to get a place of my own. In the process I made many new friends, experienced different things and am more sympathetic to people in need. In a way, being driven out of his house was a blessing. I am a more independent person than before. But how do I get rid of this anger and bitterness that I feel towards my nephew?

- Tina, Singapore

My friend, I will share a thought that is foreign to many people in this world: nothing occurs / happens to you, that is not in your best interest. If you were to allow the memory of this thought to enter your heart and soul, distress, anger, and bitterness would be impossible.

My dear friend, when it comes to your nephew, do the opposite of what has not worked for you. If when you think of him, bitter and angry thoughts enter and pollute your heart and mind, then choose not to play the ego’s game any longer. For bitterness and anger is the ego’s solution to your bitterness and anger. The ego’s solutions sound sane only to an insane world. Stand in front of a mirror, look deep into your eyes, and say, “I will no longer support anger and bitterness as solutions in my life. I will no longer carry within, sustain and maintain these energies. Father (God), today, right now, I release them to you. Let them dissolve in your loving light. Father, today, right now, with all my heart and soul, I release my nephew’s actions to you. Through you, help me forgive him. Father, let me now see him as You do.” Say this as many times as you need to. Let these words come from within your soul.

Now every time you think of your nephew, whenever thoughts of anger and bitterness pop up, stop them, and replace them with a prayer of love and forgiveness for him. Yes, from now on, instead of playing the ego’s insane game, you will remember what you truly desire, peace of mind and joy in your life, and by offering them to your nephew, you will experience them within. For you and your nephew are one, and what you do or think of him, you will experience yourself.

My friend, would you hold bitterness towards someone who was a part of a process that helped you make many new friends, experience different things, become more sympathetic to people in need and become a more independent person than before? Is this a person who is deserving of being cursed, or is this a person who is deserving of being thanked?

As A Course in Miracles states “It is as sure that those who hold grievances will suffer guilt, as it is certain that those who forgive will find peace.” My dearest sister, forgive your nephew’s error and you shall set yourself forever free.

Note:  To read more about forgiveness, you may want to read Chapter Seven Overview: Freedom Through Forgiveness.
 

View larger images of front & back cover 
of the great spiritual / self development book You Have Chosen to Remember: A Journey from Perception to Knowledge, Peace of Mind and Joy by James Blanchard Cisneros.