Topics Include: Wondering if There is More to Life. Tips on Creating a Fulfilling Life.

Ask the Author: Question and Response
 

Hello, my name is Katherine and I am 14. I very much wonder if there is more to life than what I am seeing lately. I have been thinking differently than usual. I am starting to recognize what life itself is all about, but I am still not entirely sure. I was wondering if you could give me a few tips on how to fulfill it to my full ability.

Thanks mate.

Yours sincerely,

- Katherine, London, England

My friend, below I include nine tips that I believe will assist you on your journey. I also include a previous question and answer written to a young woman, around your age, from India. That Q-A includes another ten tips which are of equal importance. Read through them, think about them, and consider implementing them in your life.

1 – Realize your connection to all other human beings. We all come from the same source. This source has different names around the world. For the purpose of this discussion, we will call this source God. You are connected to God, your brother and sister and all other people are connected to God, therefore you are connected to your brother and sister and all other people. The purpose of the above statement is this: whatever you feel for your fellow being, however you react to your fellow being, these emotions are what you will feel and experience within yourself. For example, if you become angry at people, if you say negative or hurtful things to them – everything that you say or do to them you will feel and experience within yourself first, because everything you say or do must first flow through you before it is experienced by others.  Equally so, if you are generous, kind and loving to others, you will feel these emotions and kindness flowing through you first. Thus the idea that we are all connected. Know that as you treat others - you will be treating yourself. Be kind to others and you’ll be kind to yourself.

2 – Do not waste your time with judgment. The way that is best for you to grow may not be the best way for another person to grow, thus do not waste your time judging other people or how they choose to grow. Instead, concern yourself with how you are choosing to grow. If you want love, peace of mind and joy in your life, then offer that which you desire to experience to all your brothers and sisters. When I use the term “brothers and sisters” I mean all human beings. When you judge others, you will experience a feeling of heaviness and sadness within you, and the more you do so the heavier and sadder you will feel. When you love and accept others, you will feel a sense of liberation, a sense of lightness within. Look upon people not with judging eyes, but with compassionate eyes. Do so and you will experience a more compassionate world.

3 – Trust that God has the perfect plan in place for all of us. Every day upon awakening, tell yourself that you are going to be the kindest, most loving person you can be. Simply do your best every day and then trust that God is taking care of you. Many times in our lives, things may not be working out the way we believe they should be working out, yet when we look back at our lives we see that everything really turned out just fine. Thus all those things we worried so much about, if we only would have trusted God a little more, we wouldn’t have worried so much. Thus next time something seems to be happening that you do not agree with, and you have done all that you can to make it better, just tell God, “God I do not know what you are up to, but I’m not going to worry any more. I know you have my best interests in mind, and I thank you for that. I now leave all my worries in your hands. Thank you God, Amen.”

4 – Make forgiveness a tool you use every day. The opposite of judgment is trust in God and forgiveness. You forgive someone because when you do, this releases you from the negativity that judgment forces you to carry. Forgiving someone sets you free. Choosing not to forgive someone does you no good, it only weighs you down with those emotions that you even carry with you into your bed at night. Not forgiving someone can have you tossing and turning all night long. Instead forgive, give all your worries over to God, and sleep in peace. Now if you find yourself having to forgive a friend over and over again, maybe it’s a good idea to find a more mature friend.

5 – Become aware of the true power of your mind. The life you create comes from the choices that you make within your mind. You have the power within you now to become a positive thinking or negative thinking person. For example, let’s say you take a test and you don’t do well. A positive thinking person might say to themselves: “Ok, how can I now do better? What can I change to make my next test, my next experience, a more positive one? Let me talk to my teachers, my parents and friends who did well and partake in a plan to do great on my next test!” A negative thinking person might see her bad grade and say: “I’m terrible in this subject. This is not worth it. There is no point in studying any more. The teacher is dumb. I’m dumb. And this subject is dumb. I am just going to quit.” So you see, the same thing happened, a bad test score, and yet two different people can take two totally different approaches to what happened, make two totally different decisions and create two totally different experiences and lives. Life is not so much about what happens on the outside, but how you choose to deal with it on the inside. In the end, it you who has the power to live the life you truly desire to live. That is the power you have.

6 – Volunteer – feed your soul. It can be an hour or two a week. Question your mind, look within and ask yourself: “What do I really care about? How can I make this planet a better, kinder and more loving place?” Truly go within your heart and mind and ask yourself what you are drawn to. Is it reading to old people? Is it helping animals? Is it feeding the poor? Look within, feel what areas in life you are most passionate about and then focus your energy on that. If you don’t yet know, then try different experiences to see how they feel to you. When you give to others, you will be gifting to yourself because we are all connected, and this is something that I promise you - you will feel. And as you do, you will be unconsciously feeding your own soul, and your soul will grow because of your actions. And as you discover what you are passionate about, you will also be discovering who you are and why you are here.

7 – Practice becoming who you wish to become. You may not recognize this yet, but in truth you are a beautiful being. Think of this: God thought, and from that thought you/your soul was created. In the most literal sense, you are God’s thought expressing itself in physical form through your human body. When you are offering generosity, kindness, love, compassion, forgiveness and understanding, you are expressing this truth to others. Look for opportunities to bring this truth to your every day. There are innumerable moments throughout your day when you can do this. From showing kindness and opening a door for someone who is old, to talking to that kid in school that others avoid or make fun of. Look into that lonely child’s eyes as you speak to him or her and express your true self. For no child should ever be made fun of; no child should ever hold his or her head down; no child should ever be bullied by others; and no child should ever feel lonely and alone. My dear friend, any moment that you take to assist beings in feeling even just a little better about themselves is a moment when heaven’s angels will sing in honor of your action. My dear friend, any moment you assist in healing another’s pain is a moment you help heal and balance this world. My dear friend, you are the manifested thought of God on this planet, and so too are your brothers and sisters and all your fellow beings. Let them see the truth in you shining through, so that they may remember their own light. Be an example to others of the light, beauty and wisdom within us all.

8 – If your true desire is to walk in the light, then walk with those who live in the light. The teenage years are usually a confusing time for young adults. Experimentation and learning is combined with recklessness and a lack of maturity in understanding that every action actually produces a consequence that sooner or later they have to deal with. The more reckless and undisciplined the youth, the more that youth may slip into a dark space. Drugs, pills, excessive alcohol and other self-destructive behaviors are brought about in large part due to a lack of self-love, a lack of understanding what their true self desires. Those traveling that path hurt themselves and others because they themselves are hurting inside. Those who are hurting inside use peer pressure to have you experience what they are experiencing. They feel hurt and want those around them to feel and experience their inner pain. People who want you to experience pain, to experience self-destructive behaviors are not your true friends, they are simply lost souls. No one who is walking in the light would ever pressure you to do anything that you are uncomfortable doing. No one who walking in the light would want you to experience pain, or to force you into self-destructive patterns and behaviors. Those who are walking in the light will treat you with the respect and honor that they themselves wish to be treated with. Those who are walking in the light act with compassion and forgiveness, with kindness and with love.

9 – Everything in balance. In this age of technology and information, there exists innumerable products, TV shows, web sites and advertising that distorts reality in such a way that it can confuse a young person into believing that what they are selling actually has something to do with what’s truly important and real. I am not saying not to watch these types of shows, but keep everything in balance. If you choose to spend an hour in front of the TV watching the “Real World” on MTV or whatever the latest “reality” TV show is, then consider spending an hour reading a good book. If you spend an hour shopping for the latest clothes and products, then spend an hour maybe going to the Salvation Army and giving them something you no longer wear or use. If you are mad or sad and spend an hour thinking bad thoughts about your parents or friends, don’t judge yourself for doing so, instead spend an hour doing something nice for them, or saying something nice about them.  If you want to eat candy and ice cream do so, but then promise yourself that you’ll go on a nice hike, bike ride or to the gym before the day is done. If you’re having a bad day and you jump on someone and say angry or nasty things, don’t compound things by judging yourself as bad, instead first correct your behavior within your mind, and then make sure to apologize as soon as possible and definitely before going to bed at night. If someone says something mean or nasty, instead of saying something mean or nasty back, stop yourself - for really what has this kind of response ever accomplished? Instead try to work with the person on better, more mature and loving ways of interacting with each other.

Katherine my friend, the previous nine tips along with the following ten tips will assist you in providing clarity to your life. I am delighted that you stopped by the site and asked your question. I promise that by the simple creation of your question, you will assist many that you have never even met. I promise that by following these steps, you will become an even brighter light.

Peace, Health, Happiness, Love, Laughter and Light.

Your Eternal Brother,

James Blanchard Cisneros
 

I am a very confused girl. I am in 8th standard. I have many choices but I don't know which one to choose. I am good at tennis. I have even been chosen for tournament. But I want to join NCC. All my parents, teachers and friends are confusing me. And this always happens with me. I am not even sure what I will become in the future. Now what should I do?

- Radhika, India

My friend "a confused girl" is simply the result of a confused mind. The previous statement might at first sound like bad news, but here, through this website, we look to reverse the thinking of the world. For if the thinking of this world was actually accurate, would this planet and the people on it not live in a more peaceful and joyful place?

Confusion is not a result of what is happening in the outer world, but a result of how we deal with it within our inner world, our minds. This is good news, because if we had to fight against the hundreds of thousands of thoughts and illusions that bother us about the outer world, this world would be a very tiring and difficult place. And it is a tiring and difficult world for those who believe its thought system.

Simply figure out within your mind what brings you peace of mind and joy, then expand these thoughts into your outer world. And thus, we will work on bringing peace and clarity to your mind. The more peaceful your mind is, the more peacefully you will interact with the world. Try the following suggestions:

1 – Work on yourself first. Buy a journal, a book with empty pages for you to write in. Introduce space during your day when you can go to your room, close the door and just breathe, think and write in your journal. Write about what has bothered you during the day. Write about your reactions to these situations. If something happened that bothered you, write the situation down, then write why it bothered you and how you may have reacted more peacefully to that situation. When I meet or interact with anyone, even if I perceive a person to be acting in an unloving manner, I remind myself this is God’s child in front of me. If I find myself judging someone, I quickly catch myself thinking this way, and within my mind I say, “God, you have sent your son or daughter to me. This is your gift to me. Thank you God for the gift. I thank this person for his or her participation in my lesson plan.” This internal dialog helps bring clarity and peace to my interaction.

2 – Understand your choices. Place the thinking of the world aside. The ego will teach you that you have ‘many choices,’ thus confusing and frustrating you. The Godself would remind you that your only two choices in each and every situation are: what brings you happiness and peace and what doesn’t. Those are really your only two choices. In your journal, write down those things that bring you happiness and peace and those that don’t. Little by little, work towards choosing actions and reactions that bring more peace and happiness to your life, and work towards letting go of those actions and reactions that don’t. When you understand that in each and every moment you only have two choices, conflict and confusion are reduced.

3 – Respect the boundaries your parents set. Young people, like it or not, need boundaries. Boundaries are a healthy thing to have as you develop and strengthen your heart and mind. Thus listen to your parents, they have your best interest at heart. Be very open, honest and up front with them. Show them that you are trying to behave in a mature manner. Tell them if you’re feeling good or not doing certain activities. If they want you to try something, be mature about it, try it for a while and see how you truly feel about it. Write down how that activity is making you feel. Truly understand why you like or don’t like the activity. If after awhile you see the activity is not really for you, show your parents that you have really thought about it. Read them what you have written and ask them to support you in your decision. Have possible solutions to the issue already written down, and invite them to work with you on possible solutions. Creating an open and honest relationship with your parents, where you show maturity and respect, will help you develop a more positive relationship with them, that will in turn bring more peace and clarity to your life.

4 – Develop and strengthen your spirit. Develop inner strength. In the USA, there is a saying that I often use internally that says, “What would Jesus do?” Jesus is a guide I use in my daily decision making. Whatever your religion is, find the self-actualized person, entity or spirit in your religion that you have the most respect for, then have him, her or it be your personal guide in helping you make daily decisions. If nothing comes to mind, think about how the most spiritually enlightened person might behave in any situation you are dealing with. I sometimes ask myself, “What would Jesus have done in this situation?” and “How would Jesus see this person?” Acting and reacting from your highest moral point helps you to have peace with regard to whatever decisions you make.

5 - Strengthen your body. After-school physical activities are very good for you. Be it tennis or anything else. Try different things and find out what it is you like to do. What brings you the most satisfaction and joy? As you see, I’m not saying find what your teachers or friends want you to do, I’m saying find out what you like and want to do. Also, research which foods are good for your body and which foods are not. Food has more of an effect on your mind and body than you might think. Analyze how you feel after eating certain foods. Eating healthy foods and exercising assists in bringing clarity to the mind.

6 – Become aware of the true power of forgiveness. Understand that you have the final say on whether you will judge and condemn a brother or sister - imprisoning and carrying them within your mind, or forgiving them and setting yourself free. Pay attention to what happens within you when you choose to judge a brother or sister. Pay attention to how this effort weighs you down as you’re forced to carry these actions within you. Equally so, pay attention to what happens within you when you choose to forgive a brother or sister. Pay attention to how this effort lightens your load, how it sets you free. Pay attention that no matter what your brothers and sisters do, you have the final say on how you choose to react to their actions. You have the final decision to judge or forgive them. You have the final choice to imprison them within your mind thus adding confusion and chaos to your life, or forgiving them thus releasing you from carrying the burden and setting yourself and them free.

7 - Look to strengthen the mind. Research meditation techniques that help you learn how to focus the mind. Learn how powerful and useful the breath is in releasing stress. In any stressful situation, when you feel yourself tensing up, take a deep breath. Take the tension from your body into that deep breath and then blow this deep breath and tension out. Do this a few times, breathing out the tension. Then, for a few deep breaths, visualize God love and white light around you, and breathe this love and light in. This effort might just take 30 or so seconds, yet it can save you hours or even days or hurt, pain and regret.

8 – Include heart-centered prayers before going to bed at night. By heart-centered, I mean speak to your spiritual guide(s) not so much through learned prayers, but through your heart. Ask for assistance from them. Ask them to help you bring focus and clarity into your life. Offer them gratitude for their assistance. Be sure not to eat a few hours before going to bed. If you go to bed with a full stomach, your body will have to focus more on digestion than on healing and re-energizing. If you like, try this a couple of nights to truly understand it. If you go to bed with a full stomach, you’ll have a harder time falling asleep. You’ll twist and turn more during the night, and you’ll wake up with a full and sluggish feeling in the morning. If you go to bed with an empty stomach, you’ll sleep more comfortably and you’ll wake up with a lighter feeling and with more energy. Invite God, or whatever higher power you believe in, to hold you in His or Her arms while you sleep. Trust that you are loved and cared for, even while you sleep.

9 – Pay close attention to your internal dialog. How and what you say to yourself will either lift you up or bring you down. If you don’t learn how to love and respect yourself, then you will not require others to treat you in a loving and respectful manner. If through negative self-talk, you put yourself down, you will be more accepting of others putting you down. Positive internal dialog helps build your self esteem. Negative self talk breaks down your self esteem. If you hear yourself talking or thinking in a negative manner to yourself, stop yourself and say, “I will not mistreat myself. I deserve to be loving, compassionate and understanding with myself as I grow and develop into a more loving, understanding and compassionate being.”

10 – Be a positive example to others. Do not concern yourself with being a leader or a follower. Simply rediscover your source, your true foundation, your Godself, that all-encompassing love that in truth you and all your brothers and sisters are. You, and your brothers and sisters, are the physical manifestation of God on Earth. You are love and only love. Simply extend who you are into the world, and allow your family, teachers and friends to be touched and embraced by your truth. By focusing on yourself, on making yourself stronger and more balanced physically, mentally and spiritually you will bring clarity, peace of mind and joy not only to yourself but to all those you interact with.

My friend, choose to live in the present. Do not concern yourself with what you will become in the future. Focus on the now, the present moment, for it is in the now where your destiny is created. Find peace of mind, joy and fulfillment in the now, and your future will simply become an extension of this action. Peace of mind, joy and fulfillment are what you truly desire, and what your parents, teachers and friends desire for you. Work on yourself, on strengthening yourself physically, mentally and spiritually, and enjoy the clarity and peace that will come with your effort.
 

   

View larger images of front & back cover 
of the great spiritual / self development book You Have Chosen to Remember: A Journey from Perception to Knowledge, Peace of Mind and Joy by James Blanchard Cisneros.