Topic:   Embarrassed and ashamed about divorce

Ask the Author: Question and Response

I am reading your writings from your web site. I am very impressed.

I thought I had failed at my 2^nd marriage. This is what I have been misperceiving and so I have been mentally beating myself up for no reason.

I have felt embarrassed and ashamed in society due to this 2^nd divorce and have lost my inner peace. Help me!

- Name withheld for privacy, USA
 

My friend, the confusion you feel is, in part, the result of having forgotten your true home. Your home is not a place where emotions such as embarrassment and shame even exist. Your home is not a place where judgment flourishes, nor where pain has ground to grow. Your home is a place where peace forever surrounds you in His loving light. Where joy and love expand from within you into all you see.

My friend, the confusion you feel is, in part, a result of having forgotten your Creator and what he expressed in His creation.  You are God’s thought. If you, even for an instant in time, allowed the previous statement to truly touch your heart, you would fall to your knees in absolute appreciation. Tears of endless joy would stroke your checks, and you would once again allow your truth to embrace you. God thought and you were created. You are, in the most literal sense, the physical manifestation of God’s thought on Earth.

You have chosen to express God’s thought on this planet, and to express this truth to others, and that is, in part, why you are here. Thus when you are doing this through acts of love, compassion and forgiveness, a sense of a mission being accomplished is felt. When you are doing otherwise, through human inventions such as judgment, shame and embarrassment, then confusion and chaos are its result.

Since you were very young, those ‘in the know,’ such as family, friends, teachers, etc., have taught you the best they could. They have taught you some things that are true and some things that are simply inventions of society, inventions used to describe their own confusion.  Choose not to judge them, for they simply read to you from the same fairy tale that they themselves were read from. They were also taught that this fairy tale was true, and thus they taught it as truth to you.  But little by little, you’re starting to see that not everything they taught was true - is true.  For the only real truth comes about when you express and expand your Creator through you to others. 

Such things as feeling embarrassed, feeling ashamed, and judgment of self and others are inventions of society.  Have you actually convinced yourself that you came from Heaven, from your true home with these ideas nailed through your wrist and heart? My dear friend, you are now getting that you no longer need to carry the crown of thorns this world has offered as solutions to your confusion, the confusion they themselves planted on you.  Many still carry this crown with them. Many still support self-judgment, judgment of others, shame, and humiliation in their lives, as actual solutions to their confusion. Is it any wonder then why society finds itself where it is now? Searching for hope where there is none will make you feel hopeless.

My friend, if there is one thing I can promise you - it is this: you will never, ever experience a relationship, be it one minute long or one lifetime long, that is a failure. Failure is an invention of society. Failure is a fairy tale taught to us as a truth. Failure was invented by the confused mind in an effort to replace God’s plan. Their confused plan for their lives was not going the way they had planned, thus something must be wrong, someone or something must have failed them. No, the one and only reason a fairy tale such as failure exists is because there is a lack of faith in God’s plan. No one, and I literally mean no one who truly trusts God’s plan, will ever see themselves as a failure. They cannot see themselves as a failure because there is no such thing as failure in God’s mind, and if it does not come from God’s mind then it isn’t real; it isn’t truth; it isn’t who you or your brothers and sisters are. And somewhere deep, maybe very deep within, you know that this is so.

When the time comes for you to return home, you will be shown how all the pieces fit so perfectly together. You will embrace each and every one of those pieces you once judged, and thank them for their participation in your life.  You will experience so much gratitude for each and every moment, and each and every person, that the love and gratitude you will express will touch all those around you. Tears of joy will fall to the ground and roses will immediately grow in this fertile soil. Angels will literally join you in your praise, and you will experience a choir that will far surpass any heard on Earth.

Yet my friend, you need not wait for your return home to express your truth now! The moment is yours to do, feel, express, and act as you will. The present moment is God’s gift to you. Allow God to express Himself through you, and you will want no other way. Whenever judgment’s fairy tale tries to blow your house down, remember who built your house, and laugh the judgment away. Gift all your insecurities over to the only One who knows the truth about you. Gift your judgment of others to Him and watch them melt in His light. No longer carry what in your heart you know you have no use for. Let go what you no longer need.

Judge yourself no longer, for there is no judgment in God. My dear friend, allow me to say that it is impossible to lose your inner peace. Your inner peace is who you are. It is like saying that you have lost your soul, or you have lost your connection to God. These are all, in the most literal sense, impossible. What is possible is believing that such a thing is possible, but this is only possible because you have been read to and bought into confusion’s dictionary. What is possible is covering your truth over with a blanket of fairy tales you believe more strongly in. It is possible to value something more than your peace of mind and thus cover peace with what you value more.

In your confusion, you may have convinced yourself that you’re in need of punishment, and thus as self-punishment you choose to hide your peace of mind from yourself. You do this because you do not believe you are worthy of having it.  But punishment and self-punishment are acts of the confused, not of God. And if it’s not of God then it’s not of your trueself, for your true self and God are one. You have bought into the confused idea that it is possible, and are thus experiencing it as so.  For you value what you believe, and what you believe - you will see.

If you are now confused, it is because the world that you are taking advice from is confused. Understand who you are taking advice from. Yet take a good look at this world. Where is it now? Isn’t this world participating and dealing with a massive level of confusion and chaos? Can such a world truly teach you peace of mind and joy? Do you not see that this world’s external struggle is a manifestation of its internal struggle. Do you really think that if the people on this planet had peace of mind and love in their hearts the world would physically manifest like it is? My friend, lack of peace in the external world comes from a lack of peace in people’s internal world. And the world is simply the physical manifestation of the collective internal world of the people living here, nothing more and nothing less. 

The physical world is here as a gift to us. It is here to physically show us where we are within our hearts and minds. Equally so, your external world is simply a manifestation of where you are now within your heart and mind. Use this knowledge to start letting go of the illusions you carry of yourself and others. You need not carry anything that is not truly yours. Your trueself, as hidden from you as it may be, is loving, compassionate, caring, and forgiving. There is nothing you can do to change this because this is your true essence, your God-self. Currently you see yourself as having ‘committed’ all types of ‘sins’ and thus you believe that you are not worthy of the treasure you carry within. But my dear friend, there is nothing that you need to do to experience your treasure, for your treasure is your inheritance.  And your inheritance has been gifted to you by God Himself. It is already within you. It will always be within you. It will never leave you.  You can choose not to focus on it and thus forget about it for a while.  But it forever patiently waits for you to return your attention to it. And once you choose to again place your attention on it, you will feel and experience the love it has always had for you.

My dear friend, listen carefully for I have witnessed God’s absolute love for all. There is nothing, and I mean this in every sense, nothing you can ever do that would affect God’s eternal love for you. God only loves you, because God is only love. God only sees your every step as a step toward him. Sure, as a child would, you may trip, sometimes fall, but they are all, knowingly or not, all steps you take toward God.  Remember your child as he was learning to walk. When he was walking toward you, how did you feel? Did you love him any less because he did not walk a straight line towards you? Did you love him any less when he tripped, or did you help him up with a smile and let him continue on his journey towards you?  My dear friend, multiply those feelings you have for your own child a thousand times and you just might begin to conceptualize God’s absolute and unconditional love for you!

Lay judgment down; lay down your sword, for what peace or happiness has your sword ever brought? Do you want conflict or do you want the peace of God? When you judge something or someone, know that it is not your truth. It is not your Godself doing so. It is your trained self, your ego-self reacting as you have been trained to react. Do not even judge yourself for judging others, for that is what your ego-self would do. No, simply see what you are doing, stop, and then once again ask yourself, “Do I want the sword or do I want the peace of God?”

Society has no control over you, other than the control you give to it. When you feel others judging you, say to yourself what a great man once said “Father, judge them not, for they know not what they do.” When your brother or sister judges you, know that it’s not the truth in them that is judging you.  The part of them that judges you is that child part of them that believes the fairy tale that was taught to them as true - is true.  Would you judge a child for believing a fairy tale is true? Would you judge a child if he shapes his hand like a gun and shoots at you? Only the child in you would be bothered by such an action.  My dear friend, you will never be judged by anyone’s truth because judgment does not exist in truth, because judgment does not exist in God.

My dear friend, stand with your head held high, knowing that there is no distance between you and God, for God is in you now. Allow Him to flow through you. Be a reminder to others of their true home. Be a reminder to others that Heaven is but a choice we make. Every moment is God’s gift to us. Every moment offers us the opportunity to choose God’s peace over our sword. Every moment, knowingly or not we make this choice. It is the choice that we value most that we will experience. My dear friend, rise up from the dust and look upon your brothers and sisters as guiltless. For in doing so, you will be teaching and reminding yourself of your own innocence. Accept your Father’s inheritance now. Bring the truth, love and compassion that is within you - out. Expand this truth to all others, regardless of who they are, or how worthy of it the fairy tale tells you they are. Be an example to others of the truth within us all.

View larger images of front & back cover 
of the great spiritual / self development book You Have Chosen to Remember: A Journey from Perception to Knowledge, Peace of Mind and Joy by James Blanchard Cisneros.