Topic:   Death in the Family Family Rift

Ask the Author: Question and Response
 

My father passed away in May, and I am adrift from my siblings due to family conflict. My father suffered post-op complications and did not want life support.  I told my sister we cannot blame the hospital if no one was with him 4 days prior to his cardiac arrest for his wish not to be on life support.  Consequently, he was on life support 10 days before he passed away.  I am having a very hard time with this situation.  But at this time suffering with grief and hurt, I feel the need to distance myself from the family so I can find myself without them controlling me.

- Pamela, Virginia, USA i

Imagine yourself in a room with him and with Jesus (or whatever other self-actualized being you choose). What would your father advise you to do regarding your family members? How would this self-actualized being advise you to act toward your fellow brother and sister?  In times of confusion, look toward those that live in clarity, and ask them what they would do.  Do what they would do until you find the peace and clarity within you to know that this is also what you would do.

You can not truly distance yourself from your family without first having peace, forgiveness, and love as your travel companions. For knowingly or not, if you do not love, forgive, and try your best to find peace with them, then you will carry them and your stress and confusion with you - wherever you go. You may go to the most isolated of beaches, to the highest of mountains, but if you do not do all you possibly can to offer forgiveness and obtain peace, then you will be weighed down throughout your journey and not know why.

Sit down in a comfortable chair, breathe deeply, calm yourself. Close your eyes and again imagine yourself in this room with your father and Jesus. Imagine your father taking one of your hands and Jesus the other. (I can vouch that this is absolutely, without question, possible.)  Visualize your hearts glowing in love, then join your hearts together in this light and fill the whole room with this light. Feel the absolute and incredible love being shared between you three. Then, imagine Jesus and your father asking you to, one-by-one, invite to the room all those you have not forgiven, all those who in any way lie restless within your heart and mind. Invite them in and allow Jesus and your father to show you how much they love them. Then look into Jesus’ and your father's face and see them asking you to do the same. With your complete heart and soul, embrace your brother and sister. Embrace them as Jesus and your father would, physically feel this embrace until you find complete love, peace and understanding in this action.

My friend, become your family's hero. Do so and you will find you, your father, and your brothers and sisters basking once again in God's glory. Seeing all of you once again united in love and peace will fill your father with so much joy that angels will literally begin to sing all around him.  In your dreams, you will again meet your father and you will see the life and joy radiating from his eyes and heart in gratitude for your courage. One day, you will all reunite with your father again. Do what you know to be right, so when you all reunite - your whole family will do so with arms wide open and with all of your heads held high.

Peace, Health, Happiness, Love, Laughter and Light,

James Blanchard Cisneros

View larger images of front & back cover 
of the great spiritual / self development book You Have Chosen to Remember: A Journey from Perception to Knowledge, Peace of Mind and Joy by James Blanchard Cisneros.