Topics Include: Having a very challenging life. Feeling as if God hates you.

Ask the Author: Question and Response
 

I have had a horrible life since I was born. I think I was born to suffer in every way possible. I think my mom didn’t want us kids. She was never around and rarely did we have a babysitter or food. When we did have a babysitter it was ones who were drunks, who molested us and worse. I started taking care of three sisters and one brother by myself at age 7 until the welfare took us all away in 1970 when I was ten. I have two sisters and a brother, I have not seen for 35 years now. Somehow I ended back with my mother when I was 13, only to find out she was pregnant and needed a babysitter again not because she wanted me. But I still loved her no matter what. But I had to get away from her so I married an alcoholic husband who beat me for six years. I finally left him because of the three beautiful girls we had. There’s a lot more, but long story short, my two oldest daughters inherited bipolar from their father. My mother was murdered in 1993 by her husband who did not go to jail. My oldest daughter went to prison in 2002 and is still there. My 25 year old daughter was killed by a drunk driver 9-18-03 who never went to jail because he is a cop. God hates me. He really does and I don’t know why. I need help. I’ve had custody of three of my grandbabies since they were born and they’re bipolar. I love them so much. If anything happened to them I would die. Please tell me why God hates me? Thank you.

- Marla B. 

My dear friend, how has your belief that God hates you actually worked for you? Is this belief helping, assisting or bringing peace into your life or into the lives of your grandbabies? And if it is not, why do you continue to support this thought system? Is it not a form of self-hatred or self-punishment to support belief systems that don’t do anything positive for you? Have you not punished yourself with your own thoughts long enough? Would you like your grandbabies to grow up learning and supporting this painful and self-destructive belief system, or do you want them to grow up in a thought system that supports their peaceful and joyful growth and development? 

My friend, imagine if you were God, and you gifted mankind with free will, the right to choose their own way. Then you saw some lost humans mistreating their own children, would you send someone with no idea how to help these children, with no idea how these children are feeling or would you send someone with the experience needed to truly understand what these children are going through. Would an adult that has been mistreated as a child not be a wiser and more understanding sounding board and guide to children who are now going through such a situation. 

My friend, imagine if you were God, and you gifted mankind with free will, the right to choose their own way. Then you saw some lost humans molesting children. Would you send someone with no idea of what these children are going through or would you send someone who understood how these molested children truly felt, someone who had gone through what they are going through, someone who can help them better deal with their misery, hurt, pain and grief?

My friend, imagine if you were God and you gifted mankind with free will, the right to choose their own way. Then you saw some lost humans creating a welfare system that took children from their family and separated brothers from sisters, would you not send someone who knew how it felt to be separated from their brothers and sisters to help, calm, assure and stabilize those children who are now going through such a confusing and destabilizing process? 

My friend, imagine if you were God, and you gifted mankind with free will, the right to choose their own way. Then you saw some lost humans, some alcoholic men on Earth abusing and beating their wives. Who would you send to help these women? Would you send someone with no experience with what these women are going through, with no experience of how these women actually feel, or would you send someone who can look into these women’s eyes and tell them “I understand you, I have walked where you are walking. Yes, there is a light at the end of this tunnel.” Would these abused women not feel more comfortable with, and comforted by a person who has gone through what they are going through? 

My friend, imagine if you were God, and you gifted mankind with free will, the right to choose their own way. Then you saw your children in deep hurt and pain dealing with murdered parents or children that had been killed by drunk drivers. Would you send someone with no experience with death and the passing of parents and children to help them, or would you send someone who has cried their same tears, who has walked their same path, and who can look into their sad, troubled eyes and tell them that all will be all right? 

My friend, imagine if you were God, and you gifted mankind with free will, the right to choose their own way. Then you saw some of your children dealing with mental disorders such as bipolar disorder, who would you send down to assist them? Would you send someone you did not trust and love to guide them, or would you send your most trustworthy and experienced soul to lead your children to a more peaceful, balanced and joyful place? 

My dear friend, you are God’s choice. He has chosen you to help heal, bring comfort and peace to those women and children who are now dealing with mistreatment, confusion, hurt and pain. As you assist in healing these women and children, those parts within you that are hurt and wounded also begin to heal. My friend, you have the physical experience to help these souls deal with and survive their current environment. My friend, as rough and tough as your journey has been, you have survived it. Many women and children are praying right now for God to help them survive what you have survived. You are the physical manifestation of the prayers of many of these women and children. Heed their call, and as you do you will begin to heal yourself. For in their stories, you will remember your own, and you will become that light at the end of the tunnel that they can not yet see.

If your three grandbabies needed assistance, would you send someone you disliked, did not trust, or even hated to take care of them? Or would you send them the wisest, most caring, loving, trustworthy and most experienced soul you could find to take care of them? Would you not think that God is at least as wise as you are?
 

View larger images of front & back cover 
of the great spiritual / self development book You Have Chosen to Remember: A Journey from Perception to Knowledge, Peace of Mind and Joy by James Blanchard Cisneros.