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Forgiving Something that Happened in the Past.
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Ask the Author:
Forgiving Something that
Happened in the Past.
Two years ago, my fiancé cheated on me. He told me about
it, told me he was sorry and would do whatever it takes to make it
right. He has tried, I will give him that. But for some reason, I just
won't let it go. I do not know how. All I have done since that day is
put him down and throw every single little thing he has done wrong in
his face. I find fault in everything he says and does. I guess in a
sense, one could say I am trying to hurt him like he hurt me. I grew up
in a Christian family, but I have not always lived that life. I feel as
if I am lost and do not know where to go from here. I do not want to
lose him, because honestly he is a great person. I know God has a plan
for everyone, and everything happens for a reason. How do you forgive
someone? How do you just let go of the anger and move on? I need to know
and I have prayed and prayed. How do we move on and forget what has been
done to us? I know Jesus did, and I wish I was that strong. I told my
fiancé that I did forgive him, but I really haven't. I don't like lying.
I need to forgive him.
- Nikki,
Kentucky, USA
There is nothing wrong with you or your fiancé. You were
simply given an incomplete map. Those who gave you the map believed it
was complete because those who gave them the map said it was complete.
And thus you are lost and feel lost.
In life you have learned how to react and behave mainly
by the examples set by your family, friends and society. Most, if not
all, had your best interests in mind, but they can only teach you what
they know; they can only react to life the way they know how to react.
Many of their lessons have been helpful, and some not so much so. But do
not judge them, for they themselves only taught you - as they themselves
were taught.
And so this is where you are today - reacting to life the
way you have learned and have been taught to react to life; reacting to
your fellow being the way you have been programmed to. But you are not
your programmed self. The truth within you is that you are a completely
loving and compassionate human being. As much as others have hidden this
treasure from you, something tells you that you have the capacity for
more - for more love and compassion, for more forgiveness and
understanding.
Deep down inside, you know that there is something
missing in the lesson plan, that the journey is not over, nor have you
reached the destination you desire. You know this and thus your prayers
for assistance. Today I am a witness that those prayers have been
answered, and that you are now on the verge, just a few choices away
from taking a wonderful step toward your true home.
It is because of your current need for expressing your
true self that this question has surfaced. It is because of who and
where you are today that you have brought about this opportunity for a
truer self expression. It is because of who you are today that many
people, many of whom you’ll never meet, through the manifestation of
this answer, will grow in ways that will assist this planet in getting
to a more peaceful place. So do not judge who you are today, but respect
who you are today, for this person has awakened a memory within us all;
a memory that will soon lighten the world’s load.
You desire a moment, a holy instant, where the past is
gone. You desire a place where the peace of God surrounds you in its
soft embrace, and where forgiveness forever flows to all you look upon.
This, my friend, is your true home, and this place is what you are
asking yourself to remember and express.
Whenever you experience peace, love, forgiveness, joy and
abundance, know that you are living in this place, the moment, the
present moment, and thank all of your friends and family that have
assisted you in getting here. Whenever you experience judgment, stress,
confusion and regret, know that you are living in the past. But instead
of judging yourself, your family or friends for being lost, instead
thank them, for they are showing you a place where you desire not to be,
and thus you can now erase it from your map, and move in a more desired
direction.
In the moment, you can only have one true home, and it is
the place that you value most in every occasion that you will call home
and end up experiencing. My friend, you are now an adult and the choices
are clear, the choices are yours and yours alone. You have the choice to
live in the past or in the present, the choice between pain or peace,
between judgment and forgiveness, between condemnation and compassion.
These are the choices you have in every moment. Every moment you choose
between living in Hell or Heaven, but know this - it is your choice.
When you choose Hell, when you choose judgment, stress,
fear or condemnation - do not curse yourself or your situation
- simply smile and thank it, for Hell is simply a
reminder of where you truly desire not to be. And Heaven is always just a choice
away. But it is you, even when everyone and everything else is telling you
otherwise, who must stand up straight and look in Heaven’s direction in order to
experience it.
1 - All distress, regardless of form, comes about because
of unforgiveness.
When under distress, simply say this to yourself: “I will
forgive and I will see this differently.” These are the words that will
end the dream of sin, and rid the mind of fear. These are the words that
will give you power over all events that now seem to have power over
you. Apply these words to everything you see, to everyone you look upon.
God wills you not to suffer, but it is you who has the final choice
between pain or peace. Anytime pain seems real, know that there remains
an unforgiveness hiding somewhere in the mind.
2 - Place the past in God’s hands and the past will
punish you no longer.
God wishes you to experience His Home. In every moment,
you have the choice between God’s Home or the ego’s delusions. How much longer
will you buy into the ego’s deceptions that your brother and sister are worth
something less than your complete love and forgiveness. Place every
apprehension, every care and every form of suffering – in God’s hands.
3 - Understand the difference between your brother and
your brother’s action.
Your brother is an eternal being. Your brother’s action
lived but a short moment in time. Your brother’s action lives somewhere
in the past, and only you can extend it into the present by choosing to
put your focus on it. It is your thoughts, not his actions that bring
you fear, and thus your liberation depends on you. Once you understand
that it is impossible to be hurt except by your own thoughts, you will
take a step away from bondage, and take a step toward a place of peace
and freedom.
Continue reading this Q&A.
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Read More About Forgiveness
To read more about Forgiveness, you may want to read
Chapter Seven Overview: Freedom
Through Forgiveness.
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